5 Myths About Divorce That Could Cost You — explained by Our Stockport Family Law Solicitors

Myth 1

You Need Grounds for Divorce — Like Proving Fault

The Truth: No-Fault Divorce Is Now the Law in England and Wales

This is perhaps the most significant change to divorce law in a generation, and many people are still unaware of it. Before April 2022, couples in England and Wales needed to cite a reason for their divorce — such as adultery, unreasonable behaviour, or separation for a defined period. This often forced people to apportion blame even where there was none, creating unnecessary conflict at an already painful time.

The Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020 changed all of this. Since April 2022, England and Wales has operated a no-fault divorce system. You no longer need to prove your spouse did anything wrong. You simply need to state that the marriage has irretrievably broken down — no blame, no fault, no evidence required.

Myth 2

Everything Gets Split 50/50 in a Divorce

The Truth: There Is No Automatic 50/50 Split — Courts Look at the Full Picture

The idea that divorce automatically means splitting everything straight down the middle is one of the most persistent myths we encounter. It sounds logical — surely it’s fair? — but English family law doesn’t work that way.

Under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, the court’s starting point is fairness, not equality. Judges consider a wide range of factors when deciding how assets should be divided, including:

• The length of the marriage
• Each person’s financial needs, now and in the future
• The standard of living enjoyed during the marriage
• Contributions to the family — including non-financial ones like raising children or supporting a partner’s career
• Ages and health of both parties
• The needs of any children

In short, the outcome can vary significantly depending on individual circumstances. A short, childless marriage may result in a very different split to a long marriage where one partner sacrificed a career to raise a family.

Myth 3

The Mother Always Gets Custody of the Children

The Truth: English Law Does Not Favour Either Parent — The Child’s Welfare Comes First

We hear this one regularly, and it’s understandable why the myth persists — historically, mothers were more likely to be the primary caregiver, and so courts often reflected that reality. But the law itself has never said mothers should automatically get custody, and modern family courts are very different to those of decades past.

Under the Children Act 1989, the court’s sole consideration is the welfare of the child. It does not begin with a presumption in favour of either parent. Instead, it looks at a range of factors — often referred to as the ‘welfare checklist’ — including:

• The child’s wishes and feelings (appropriate to their age and understanding)
• The child’s physical, emotional and educational needs
• The likely effect of any change in circumstances
• Each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs
• Any risk of harm

Courts also tend to favour arrangements where the child maintains a meaningful relationship with both parents, where it is safe to do so. Shared or joint arrangements are increasingly common.

Myth 4

Verbal Agreements With Your Ex Are Legally Binding

The Truth: Only a Court Order Makes Financial Agreements Legally Enforceable

Many couples going through a relatively amicable divorce believe that if they’ve agreed between themselves how finances and assets will be split, they don’t need to formalise anything. This is a dangerous assumption.

In England and Wales, verbal or informal financial agreements between separating couples are not legally binding. That means even if your ex agrees now to not make future financial claims, they could — in theory — come back years later and make a claim against your assets, inheritance, or even a pension.

This is true even after the divorce is finalised. A Decree Absolute (or ‘Final Order’ under the new system) ends the marriage — but it does not end financial claims between former spouses. The only way to fully close the door on future financial claims is through a legally binding financial settlement, known as a Consent Order, which is approved by the court.

Myth 5

Divorce Always Means Going to Court

The Truth: The Majority of Divorces Are Resolved Without a Court Battle

The image most people have of divorce is two solicitors squaring off in a courtroom while a judge decides who gets the house. It makes for good television — but it’s rarely the reality.

The vast majority of divorces in England and Wales are settled without ever going to a full court hearing. There are several alternative dispute resolution options that allow couples to reach agreement in a less adversarial way:

• Negotiation through solicitors — your solicitor negotiates on your behalf to reach a fair agreement
• Mediation — a neutral third party helps both sides reach a mutually acceptable outcome
• Collaborative law — both parties and their solicitors work together in a series of meetings to resolve matters

Court proceedings are typically a last resort — used when there is a fundamental dispute that simply cannot be resolved any other way, or where there are safeguarding concerns. Even then, much of the process is handled through written submissions rather than dramatic courtroom scenes.